My hand turned me down
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
