had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
