im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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