I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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