you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
