yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
