i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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