Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize