Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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