FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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