is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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