I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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