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I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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