And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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