Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
