Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
