my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
