shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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