the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
