Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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