i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
