You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize