Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
