Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
