No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize