I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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