Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
