Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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