We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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