You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
