he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
