The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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