we have officially lost it.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
