Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
there is glitter all over my balls
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
