Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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