There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
