You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
