Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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