Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
BRING THE BAGELS
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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