she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
