I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize