I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
