my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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