You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
