i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
