Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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