I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
