Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
