AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
