I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
