it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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