lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
