I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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