Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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