i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
