You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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