i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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