two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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