Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
