kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize