yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
