ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
