This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Everclear isn't food dammit
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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