Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
