Im at strip club and am horny
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
