do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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