we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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