I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
