This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
