If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
