I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
