why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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