the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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