and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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