I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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