You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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