Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
