If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Randomize
