We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
