.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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