I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
