Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
