Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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