forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
