Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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