i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
