thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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