Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I need water and some morals
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
