can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
