I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
